VALENTINE’S DAY

Is a very specific occasion

That is only for lovers and people with partners.
The media is all about love, togetherness, intimate dinners, and romantic gifts.
It’s about red and red roses.

Couples are wondering:
What gift to buy,
Where to go for that special and expensive dinner,
And will they be able to meet their partner’s expectations?

After all this is their once a year designated night and the pressure is on!

Singles not wanted!

Hide and stay home.
Don’t let the world see that you’re not someone’s Valentine
Or that no one has gone out of their way to make you feel special on this magical night.

Valentine’s Day seems to be particularly difficult when you’re single because:
We or someone we know,
Wishes they had a partner,
Has a broken heart,
And doesn’t know how to get thru the night.

Been there - done that!

This night calls for creativity at it’s finest.

Remember:
You are special on this day and on everyday,
Treat yourself by doing the things you want to do,
Go where you want to go,
Find your friends,
And never hide!

Bottom line:
Be your own valentine and

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!

SINGLE ON THE HOLIDAYS

And feeling sorry for yourself.
Lonely, different, an extra, everyone feels sorry for you – you have no where to go and you don’t belong.

And the fantasies:
Everyone else is happy, has a partner, is in a family who are all smiling, having fun and preparing for a great time together.

What a crock!

The reality:
People are feeling pressure,
They are arguing over where to go, how to get there, who to go with, and what to bring,
They feel financially overwhelmed and finding it difficult to buy gifts,
Or they are tired and don’t want to go anywhere or entertain anyone.

And you think you have issues!

By the way - thanksgiving is the most traveled singles week in the country.
You can be with people of like circumstances, in a resort, and no matter where you go – they’ll serve turkey.

I have traveled on thanksgiving for 25 years.
I have gone to warm weather resorts.
I have made friends from all over the world – they are still my friends.

Being Jewish on Christmas – I’ve had great times with Christian friends and great times with Jewish friends – no matter I decide to go - the food is delicious.
I am surrounded by friends and filled with love and comfort.

Remember:
If you are single you can be free from obligations and responsibilities,
You don’t have to negotiate with anyone, and
You can be your own holiday!!!!!!!

THEY ASK

Are you dating?
Do you have a partner?
When are you getting engaged?
When is the wedding?

What nerve!
Is there no stopping these crazy, invasive, and inappropriate questions?

What answer will satisfy their curiosity?
Are you on their schedule?

We are taught to believe that by following some pre-determined schedule
We will be okay and “live happily ever after. “

I’m not married.
I don’t have children.
I “live happily ever after.”
I don’t answer inappropriate questions.

Unfortunately, while we struggle to answer their questions-
We lose sight of the real questions.

Ask yourself:
What do you want out of your life?
Do you have a plan?
What’s your schedule?

Are you okay just the way you are???????

A Season is Over

A Season is Over.

And as I drive away from Ogunquit I try not to be sad.

Neighbors - now my friends (Kay and Ray) have sent me off with a delicious homemade breakfast, my favorite apples, a piece of apple cake, and lot's of hugs and kisses.
I am full of food and love.

My voice is hoarse.
I spent last night singing at the Front Porch.

I walk in alone:
Lane puts his arm around me and gives me his seat by the piano,
The piano player (Jason, Jeff, or Robert) says hello or nods his head to acknowledge me,
Steven helps me learn lyrics by exaggerating his gestures,
Men and women singing around the piano see me and smile with recognition,
In a place "where everybody knows your name."

What's wrong with this picture?

I'm single.
I'm supposed to be isolated and lonely.
Instead I'm with a variety of people sharing smiles, hugs, and kisses - because

This is my picture!!!

Remember:
If someone asks you to breakfast - say yes,
If you walk into a room - you might be welcomed,
Life can be a self fulfilling prophecy - believe that you are great the way you are and
Show up!!!!!!!!!

Read more at my Facebook and Dresther.com.

Just One?

I arrive at the restaurant - ask for a table
The host looks at me and says, "Just one?"

What's that supposed to mean?
I have no right to want a meal.
I have no right to take up a table.
I'm pathetically alone.

Maybe:
I should have brought a book,
I should have brought a friend,
I should sit at a table where no one can see me,
I should stay home and eat leftovers,
Or I should starve to death.

I don't think so.
"Just one" is more than enough.

I'm enough!!!!

Listen to our language.
It doesn't support being single.

But remember:
Single moves to the front of a ski lift line,
Single can always get a ticket for the theater,
And there is always room for "just one" more.
Please leave your comments and visit dresther.com for more.

Believe it or not!

I never married.

And I know that lots of you are afraid to let anyone know that you don't want to get married, are unhappily married, or don't have a clue how you will live "happily ever after"- if you don't get married.

SINGLE must mean a life of "unhappily ever after."

Is that really true?
Do you really believe that?
Or have you been brainwashed by family, friends, and media to believe that remaining single leads to a life of loneliness and isolation?

Facts:
Close to 1/3rd of Americans have never married,
The divorce rate continues to climb,
51% of the women in this country are single.

Please share your thoughts below.